Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Losing it

I heard that song the other day and it made me go nostalgic. There are just certain songs that when I hear, I am suddenly transported to another time and it's like I am reliving whatever it was that made that song stick to my memory. This song came out when I was in high school (like ten thousand years ago or something like that), and I distinctly remember feeling slightly off (like there was something missing or something I forgot to do or something like that), and just a tiny bit morose. It was quite some time after that that I researched the meaning and history of the song, and when I found out it was about a dad who was parted from his kid, I thought, "Hey, no wonder I could relate to the song and I was feeling that way."

My mother would probably not approve, me being such an emotional basketcase (believe me, it takes very little to set me off -- I cry at movies, when reading books, listening to songs, while praying, when writing... you get the picture), but I do believe there is some merit in wearing my heart on my sleeve. I may be in a constant pendulum state (I never stay steady on one mood long enough), but I think this is a great strength (which, therefore, makes it an ultimate weakness, too. Hahaha, I just contradicted myself there, but whatever!) because it makes me... how should I say... more receptive and somehow more understanding of others (that was the best way I could put it). I am like a sponge in the sense that I very easily absorb the emotions "around" me. I get carried away by other people's emotions, especially those closest to me. When the people I love are in pain, I don't sympathize. It's like I'm wired in such a way that I feel their pain, too. I cry with them, I laugh with them, I am joyful with them. Is that even normal? Oh wait, I don't wanna know the answer to that. :D

Thing is, most people are afraid to feel, especially when emotions become too intense. Loving too much, extreme emotional pain (like the pain of loss), anger, hatred... I think there are many who are afraid to go beyond the "prescribed amount" or dose of emotions. When it becomes "too much" they either run, shut out, ignore, basically anything to not confront what's there. We are so conceited like that... we take the good, but we refuse to deal with the bad and the ugly.

Just my random thought for the day. I don't know how one song made me end up here.  

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